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Episode 14: The Myers Conspiracy
XDthegod: Welcome one and all, to the next action-packed episode of Channel Nine News! Live from here in the studio are Wesley Myers, Ralph Ziggles, and myself. Mr. Ziggles: Thank you XD, it feels great to be here today. Our top story tonight, the Myers Conspiracy! Wesley: The Myers... what?! XDthegod: Yes, that's right. Rumors are that Wesley has commited copyright infringement violations, and that his last name is a ripoff of the legendary Xyrz. This conspiracy will also look good in our new default font, Tahoma! That font we can't stop talking about. Tahoma is the new Calibri! Expect to see it in a lot more of our posts from now on. Wesley: Wha---what? What are you talking about!? Mr. Ziggles: Think about it, Wesley. Your last name, Myers, rhymes with the name of the almighty Xyrz. Wesley: Yea? So? Coincidence! XDthegod: We now go live to Wesley, who will be interviewing the suspect to get some answers.
INTERVIEWS WITH WESLEY
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XDthegod: *Ahem*... We NOW GO LIVE... to WESLEY... who will be INTERVIEWING THE SUSPECT... to get some ANSWERS!
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XDthegod: Wesley, get over there!
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Wesley: *Sigh*
Narrator: Wesley slouched angrily as he walked over to his station, while dramatic music played and the cunning voice of a hot narrator could be heard in the background.
Wesley: ......Really??! OK, first off, when did we get a narrator, secondly, I didn't steal anything, and three, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO INTERVIEW MYSELF??!?!?
Mr. Ziggles: Very carefully.
Narrator: ...He said, to which XDthegod raised his hand, and they high-fived.
Wesley: Ughhh....
SPORTS
Mr. Ziggles: Well, he's acting like he got the short end of the stick in this episode... XDthegod: I think he's having his period. Mr. Ziggles: Oh... hah... it's funny because guys don't have periods! XDthegod: Ohhh, I got one... what do women and hockey goalies have in common? Mr. Ziggles: Uhh..... I dunno, what? XDthegod: They both change their pads after three periods! Mr. Ziggles: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhKGHHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHH!!! Ohh... *sigh* ooooooohhhhhh....... speaking of hockey, how 'bout them Bandits? XDthegod: Ah, yes. The Boston Bandits looked strong in their first regulation game where they visited the United Center Arena to take on the Spinies. They scored the first goal twelve minutes into the first period, when Zdeno Koopa unloaded a rocket from the blue line. Mr. Ziggles: But early in the second, the Spinies got it back after Patrick Koopa scored on an odd-man-rush led by Jonathan Toads. XDthegod: They managed to keep the rest of the period scoreless, and the third period solved nothing. Mr. Ziggles: Three and a half minutes into overtime, the Spinies had a chance to win the game, had it not been for the amazing save by Koopa Rask. XDthegod: The Bandits would go on to win this one in a shootout, with Mark Reckoopa scoring the game winner, giving his team the two points for the win, where the Spinies would take the one point loss. Mr. Ziggles: That's all in Sports today, so we now go over live to Darla with the weather. Darla?
Darla: Good morning everyone, now for our local forecast, we are expecting some showers early this morning with a high of 9, with sunny breaks for the majority of the day. We'll be hit by flurries late tonight, and tomorrow we expect more rain with a high of 7 and a low of 4. There will also be an avalanche warning issued to our residents in Kooparado and other towns in that area. We also advise everyone to bring their umbrellas when they go out because of the heavy rain. This concludes the weather, and we now go to our next segment of the show.
TEN THINGS AT RANDOM
Spoiler:
VIDEO OF THE DAY
XDthegod: The internet is now over. You can all go outside.
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