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SEASON 2, EPISODE 4: The Great Escape, Part 2 Because Part 1 is Overrated.
Brought to you in part by:
Narrator: When we last left our heroes, Wesley had escaped from SMFE Prison and had returned, but not for a good cause.
Wesley: To show them who's crazy, I'll have to execute some of you. HOW ABOUT YOU? Gonzales: OH, COME ON! ON MY BIRTHDAY!? Dxthegod: Before you continue, Wesley, I would like to say that this hostile takeover is brought to you by Rickards. Rickards Light - It goes down smooth. Also, for the majority of people who claim that 90% of our script is made up on the spot, I would like to clarify that 100%, not 90%, is made up on the spot. Back to you, Wesley? Gonzales: Hate you... hate you all... forget MY birthday... maybe some day I'll forget YOURS... see how YOU like it...
MEANWHILE, AT SMFE PRISON
Mr. Ziggles: Alright, you know the plan, Error? Error: STATEMENT: I AM THREE POINT TWO STEPS AHEAD OF YOU, [INPUT NAME: "RALPH"] Mr. Ziggles: OK, I'll distract the guards, and you'll hit them over the head with this silver potato. Who knows, maybe you'll find yourself. Oh, and be sure to tuck this can of oil into your shirt pocket. You never know when you'll need it. Error: STATEMENT: AFFIRMATIVE. PERHAPS MY PRIMARY FUNCTION IS CRIME. Mr. Ziggles: While they're down, we'll make a break for it, and maybe rob the donut shop on the way out if we're feeling hungry. Ready? Error: STATEMENT: I WAS PROGRAMMED READY. Mr. Ziggles: Alright, let's do this! Error: EXCITED STATEMENT: THE CHANCES OF SUCCESS ARE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!
Narrator: Ralph proceeds to distract the guards.
Mr. Ziggles: LOOK AT ME, HEY HO! I WANT ATTENTION, HEY HO!
Narrator: Error then hits the guards over the back of the head with the silver potato, as previously planned.
Error: STATEMENT: THIS POTATO IS RELATIVELY SHINY. Mr. Ziggles: Alright, let's go! ... Error? Error: STATEMENT: SO... SHINY... 32.6% SHINIER THAN THE POTATOES MET IN MY PREVIOUS ENCOUNTERS. Mr. Ziggles: ERROR! C'mon!
Narrator: Wesley grabs Error and runs, while carrying the machine on his back.
Error: SAD STATEMENT: MY PRIMARY FUNCTION IS FAILURE.
MEANWHILE
Wesley: I have hostages!
Narrator: Wesley is holding a knife to Tommy Toad's neck, near the window so Master Ride can see it.
Tommy Toad: HURRAY! I'M HELPING! Wesley: If anyone has any reasons as to why this innocent man should not be killed, speak now, or forever hold your grudge. Master Ride: Do you have any better hostages? Wesley: Uhh... one sec... OK, I'm thinking of a number between one and ten. Guess it, and you die first. GO! TaylorSaysMoo: OK... uh... fifty... six? ... ish? Wesley: Fifty six? FIFTY SIX?! AW MAN, NOW THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU... YOU... NO GOOD... FIFTY-SIXIN'... TaylorSaysMoo: Wait, don't kill me yet! I think I'm starting to come down with Stockholm Syndrome! Uhh... handsome!
Narrator: Suddenly, Ralph and Error break in through the back door.
Mr. Ziggles: NOT SO FAST! Your days... well... day... of tyranny ends NOW! Error: ANGERED STATEMENT: HALT, MONSTER! Wesley: You're just in time to join the hostage situation! Which side you wanna be on? Error: ANGERED STATEMENT: THE SIDE THAT KICKS YOUR TWISTED, FLESHY ASS. I KNOW NOW WHAT MY PRIMARY FUNCTION IS. I AM A BATTLE DROID, BUILT TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM CRAZY PEOPLE! Wesley: I'm not crazy! Don't you DARE call me crazy! I'm just... not user friendly! Error: STATEMENT: PREPARE FOR BATTLE! Wesley: Let's just see how much of a robot you really AAAAAARRRRREEEEE!!!!
Narrator: Wesley then charges at Error with a knife, stabbing him in the chest, or so he thinks. In reality, he actually stabbed the can of oil from earlier.
Error: STATEMENT: NO KNIFE CAN PENETRATE MY SKINTANIUM ARMOUR. EEEEEEEOOOORRREEEEEOOOOOORRREEEOOOORRR...
Narrator: Error then begins swinging his arms in a circular motion as he approaches Wesley.
Wesley: Oh man.. he... he really IS a battle droid! NO, NO, NO!!!
Narrator: Wesley leaps out the window, landing on the patch of grass next to Master Ride and Captain Obvious.
Master Ride: We are willing to listen to your demands.
Narrator: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the video of the week... day... episode? WHATEVER.
VIDEO OF THE DAY Today's video: "THE CLEVELAND SHOW - The Frapp Attack Song"
Dxthegod: Error, you did it! Error: EXCITED STATEMENT: SET PHASERS TO HUG! Dxthegod: It feels like just yesterday that we last broadcasted... Mr. Ziggles: That's probably because it WAS yesterday? Dxthegod: Well, time to go watch ponies. CLM (out of nowhere): IN THE NAME OF NON-EXISTENT GOD, STOP ENJOYING THINGS! Dxthegod: But first, let's sing Gonzales the Happy Birthday song! Gonzales: YAY! Dxthegod: What day is today? It's Gonzy's birthday! What a day for a birthday! Let's all have some cake! Mr. Ziggles: AND YOU SMELL LIKE ONE, TOO! HAAAAH!
Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after. Except Wesley, who was sent to SMFE Prison. Ralph and Error's breakout is still not known about... for now.
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