Seth.D's Forum

This is just a story, I have been thinking about lately. Uploaded daily, i hope.

Chapter 1: Taya
I have never felt this bored before. I think of things to do while my brother, Tuck, who is ten years old is playing his computer. I have never used a computer before, so that isn't an option. Asking Tuck how to use the computer is out of the question too. It is not fair that my parents doesn't teach me how to use the computer. I'm 17!
My friends are all out of the country, my parents are too, and they leave me at home with my little brother! I'm just standing here, bored out of my mind.
If I'm lucky I might just fall asleep and never wake up until everyone comes back and everything returns to normal.
"Taya! The electricity is out again"
Great. "Don't ask me to fix it" annoyed that he thinks I can fix it. Should I call the people or should I just torture Tuck? It would be tempting to choose torture Tuck, but he'll just keep whining and whining until I call the people, or until the electricity comes back on by itself.
I would remember back to the time when Tuck was the one getting bossed around. Oh wait, it never happened before, well except when I was a baby girl at the age of 8. I can't wait to get to college, which is so far away. An hour living with Tuck is like a whole year.
"TAYA!!"
I wish I was in a different family, or at least not live with Tuck, the annoying brother of all time. I can just see him on the magazines with the title "World Record: Most Annoying."
Tuck is in the room. I repeat, Tuck is in the room. He looks mad, really mad. Too bad he doesn't dare hit me. You see, back when we were younger, we used to fight. Well, long story short, I always won and he always left with a bandage on him. It was all great back then, until he learned to report to his mom, but still, he doesn't dare hit me.

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[tab= Touhou]Touhou is hard.
[tab= Testing]This is a test
[/tab]

*is playing or *plays

Speech marks are unnecessary and also perhaps use a wider variety or words? Such as; irritated that he thinks I can fix it. Should I call the people or should I just torture Tuck? It's tempting to torture him, etc.

But other than those minor details, good work! I actually liked the first chapter. I'll defs read the next chapters as they come along and continue to give constructive criticism.
3.5/5 so far. ...Gah they don't have half stars. Oh well, you know what I mean.